In my work as a counselor and psychotherapist, I have seen many clients dealing with losses of all kinds. While each person will experience the grieving process in different unique ways, there are some predictable stages that many people pass through after losing something or someone important. In her work on death and dying, Elisabeth Kübler-Ross outlined five stages of grieving.

Shock and Denial: The first reaction to loss is often the inability to feel anything. This may include feeling numb, weak, overwhelmed, anxious, not yourself.
Anger: Blaming yourself or another for the loss.
Bargaining: "If you’ll just let him live, I’ll promise…"
Depression: Feeling sadness, disturbed eating and sleeping patterns, excessive crying.
Acceptance: Beginning to look for reasons. Although not always in this order, we all go through all five stages and may cycle back and forth through a number of the stages before coming to the stage of acceptance.
Kinds of Losses
Some examples of significant losses are: Loss of a person through death, divorce, loss of an ability such as blindness or job loss, loss of a body function through accident or surgery, loss of a friend who moved, loss of good health when you are diagnosed with a disease, loss when you move to a new community.

There are other models of grief in addition to Kübler-Ross’ but it is important to remember that each kind of loss affects each person in a different way. Traumatic loss can present complications that may require the help of a professional.

Recovering from Loss, Some Key Points

1. You are responsible for your own grief process. It is hard work and you must manage the process at your own pace.
2. The grief process has a purpose. It is to help you learn to accept the reality of the loss and to incorporate this loss into your new life.
3. Remind yourself that your grief will end. You will not feel like this forever.
4. Take care of your health. Grief is extremely stressful, and it requires energy to manage the stress. While it may be tempting to numb the pain with food and drink, this can lead to the additional problems of alcohol dependence and excess weight
5. Talk about the person who is no longer in your life. Engaging in individual counseling or grief groups can be helpful.
6. Take time to be rest. In the days and weeks following the loss of a loved one, there is often a flurry of activity. This can be completely exhausting. Rest.
7. Maintain as normal a routine as you can. You have enough changes in your life right now. Try to get up, go to bed, and eat on schedule.
8. Ask for help. If you don’t want to be alone, or if you want someone to take you somewhere, it is okay to ask.
9. Let people help you. People want to help because it gives them a way to express their feelings. Staying connected with people is especially important now.
10. Keep a journal of your feelings and experiences during the grief process. Writing about your feelings helps you express them.
11. Avoid making extreme life changes after a major loss. It can be tempting to make some important changes right after a major loss as an effort to feel more in control. Put off such changes and decisions until later.
12. Don’t hurry your grief process. People sometimes want to put their feelings and memories behind them because they are painful. But grieving takes time, and there are no shortcuts.
13. Remind yourself that although grief hurts, it will not harm you. Grief is painful, but you will survive and even grow from the experience.
14. Expect to get stalled in your recovery process from time to time. This is normal but it probably won’t last long.
15. Acknowledge the anniversary of your loss by doing something special. Have supportive